Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
