Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize