just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
