I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
