You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
