I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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