We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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