I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
