You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
