We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
