My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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