idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
