Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Randomize