she looked like the before picture.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
