my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i came on her dog
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
