Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
