It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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