elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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