I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
