we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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