Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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