He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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