We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
