Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
