im gay
i know
yea but for you.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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