i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
