I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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