I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
