Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
