But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
