I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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