Dual....:-)
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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