Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
