Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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