If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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