at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
My vagina is officially offended.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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