return my video game
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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