so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
