New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
