Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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