This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize