My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
