That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
