Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
