His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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