Whod you bang
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
