We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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