omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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