I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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