I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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