Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If I had your ass I would rule the world
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
