The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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