I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
