He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
