I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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